4 December 2013 diary

4 December 2013 diary.

 

Good morning to everyone in Heaven and earth,

She appeared in my dream again this time I could talk to myself: “There is nothing I can do, only God can make or change His decision”. I felt a sad a bit in the morning but I had to be strong.

I forced myself to get up, be strong, and went to work. I ate the breakfast energy food but I still felt hungry so I bought a 45g crisps. I think I will gain weight again but I will fight it again.

Work was very busy in the morning but it went quiet later. I felt so sleepy and tired at work but the crisps kept me awake.

I ate spaghetti bolognaise for lunch. Thanks God, work was finally over so I went home in happiness. Before I went to the train station I stopped to talk to a Catholic sister in the city centre in front of Perth Post Office. I gave an envelope containing $100 to her to be donated to poor people and whoever needs supports in Calcutta in India. She told me that the money would be sent to Sydney before going to Calcutta. I forgot to write a word ‘Donation’ on the envelope, it was only a plain white envelope with no writing. So I really hope that the envelope would not be forgotten or lost.

When I arrived home, I started feeling lonely again. I felt I was very guilty to my friends.

My God, I made a very big mistake to my friends including Yongky, Tania, my Christian gathering friends, and other people as well, I did not want to reveal it to them because I was afraid they were going to hate me more. My God and My Lord, I only can admit this big mistake to You. I am really sorry my God.

I chose to sleep to cool myself. I got up at 9pm and ate an instant cheap noodle for my dinner. After that I logged in to my Picasa to delete many photos before I would upload the much better version. I also tested Yongky’s computer but there was no sign of error yet. I spent the rest of the night listening to happy songs.

I pray to God about myself, Yongky, Eric, and other people before I slept and I after I received an sms from my mom in Jakarta.

Thank you for reading.